For #2, the only way I know how to do that is so something like this in your form:
<%= f.submit "Save", :disabled => "disabled", :id => "save_button" %>
and then on your form elements, you can add
:onchange => "if ($('save_button').disabled) { $('save_button').disabled = false; }"
—or put that in with your onUpdate sortable method…-patrick